If Microsoft or Nike owned the rights to the institution of marriage, the vice-president in charge of marketing would hauled into the CEO's office to explain the downward slide in the product's consumer appeal.
Of course, marriage isn't "owned" by Bill Gates (not yet, anyway) or anyone else. In fact, most Christians would argue that marriage is divinely-ordained, so it belongs to God. A growing number of Canadians would beg to disagree.
The latest data from the 2001 census, released October 22, shows the traditional family—married, heterosexual couples and their children—is no longer the first choice for many Canadians. More and more people are staying single, childless or living in common-law relationships, a state that should set off alarm bells all over churches across Canada.
Here's what the census found:
• The traditional family accounts for 70 per cent of all families in Canada, down sharply from 83 per cent in 1981 and falling;
• Common-law families increased during the same period from 5.6 per cent to 14 per cent and rising, with the portion of children living with common-law parents exploding to four times the portion of two decades ago;
• Couples without children, particularly DINKs (double income, no kids), accounted for 41 per cent of all families, up from 34 per cent 20 years ago;
• Most children under 14 still live with married or common-law parents, 68 per cent, down from 84 per cent in 1998, with more than 1 million children living with only one parent (primarily single mothers);
• Same-sex couples are recognized for the first time in the census, numbering 32,200 or 0.5 per cent of all couples.
Despite hard work by pro-family groups such as the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada, Focus on the Family and the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops in defence of traditional Christian views on marriage, it's clear we're losing the battle for the hearts and minds of many Canadians.
Common-law unions are popular and increasingly referred to as "trial marriages," lending a certain legitimacy to "living in sin." And let's not forget that the courts have already ruled that the definition of marriage must include same-sex couples, with politicians likely to comply soon.
Reasons for decline
There are obvious reasons why marriage continues to slide in Canada. No doubt a society saturated with sex works mightily against committed, monogamous relationships blessed by the Church. A disturbing obsession with "self"—the "me" generation of the 1980s never really died out—also works against legally binding oneself to another person for life.
But we can't ignore the role of the Church itself. The damage inflicted by mainline Protestant churches on marriage has been monumental during the past 30 years. The sad irony is that turning a blind eye to extramarital sex, playing fast-and-loose with divorce and sanctioning same-sex couples only undermines Christian marriage by reinforcing the notion it is nothing more than a social act.
On the other hand, even those churches that adhere to traditional Christian beliefs on marriage must do more than simply preach about the sanctity of marriage.
As communities of believers, churches need to be more than social clubs where we get our "God fix" on Sunday. Alcohol and drug addictions, physical and sexual abuse of women and children, infidelity and a host of other martial problems are the church's problem, not someone's "own business."
A revolutionary concept? Perhaps the marriage revolution starts where it belongs—in the church among Christians who walk the talk.
Joe Couto is a government and communications professional working on Bay Street in Toronto. A keen observer of the church in Canada, he formerly served as communications manager for the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada and is a frequent contributor to ChristianWeek and Faith Today. This is the third in nine-part series.
