Support organization for missionary kids expands into Canada
“Valuing children is so key. If we don’t see children as the future, we set them up to fail.”
ROCKWOOD, ON—An advocacy organization that helps the children of missionaries deal with their sometimes painful pasts has opened a Canadian chapter.
Missionary Kids Safety Net (MK Safety Net) works primarily with adults whose parents were missionaries. Some “missionary kids” (MKs) suffered abuse or trauma while their parents were in the field, and MK Safety Net is helping them connect with counsellors and other abuse survivors. The organization also helps survivors walk through the process of reporting abuse and initiating investigations.
“Even as children and teens, MKs often live in a great deal of emotional isolation from one another and that isolation continues into adulthood,” says Beverly Shellrude Thompson, a former MK and president emeritus of MK Safety Net Canada. “The work we do includes creating safe environments for people who want to talk about trauma they experienced to connect with others from their schools or people from different settings.”
MK Safety Net was founded following an investigation into abuse at Mamou Alliance Academy in Guinea. After a 1999 retreat held for survivors, including Shellrude Thompson, to review the investigation, numerous other MKs began contacting them with reports of past abuse in various organizations. The group decided to incorporate and continue their support work.
“We do a lot of educational work around current trauma therapies,” Shellrude Thompson explains. “There is groundbreaking work being done in dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, memory recall and the re-traumatization that can happen with memory recall. Another important component is helping victims learn how to set up external, independent investigations into historical abuse.”
Sadly, says MK Safety Net Canada co-president Doris Glenn, mission agencies have rarely opened investigations into allegations of abuse, and seldom reported them to authorities.
“When MKs tried to address abuse, the mission often responded as a co-dependent would,” she explains. “They think this hurts the name of Christ and they are concerned about ensuring the mission continues. MKs have often felt re-traumatized because the missions are resistant to external investigations and sometimes reports ‘mysteriously’ disappear.”
One organization Glenn says is helping to elicit change is Winning Kids Inc. Winning Kids is a Canadian agency that provides training and consulting for faith-based organizations drafting child protection and abuse prevention policies.
“I don’t believe it is the intent of any mission board for abuse to be present,” says Melodie Bissell, founder of Winning Kids Inc. “I know changes are being made. Mission organizations are investing thousands of dollars, writing policies and training their staff, but they have a long way to go.”
Despite the progress, Bissell remains concerned about the Church’s response to allegations of abuse.
“When MKs start talking about their abuse and they are told, ‘Get over it. Stop being bitter. Forgive.’ I think the Church believes God is sovereign, but when we have abuse claims in our ranks, we feel we have to protect God’s reputation by not talking about it or calling it a crime.”
Another issue Bissell identifies is that when abuse happens agencies are not doing enough to notify predators’ home church or child protection agencies in Canada.
Glenn says the settings where MKs grow up put them at high risk of abuse. In the past, many mission agencies required missionaries, often young parents, to travel overseas, leaving their children in mission hostels for up to five years at a time.
“When you look at the Native residential schools, there was a lack of accountability. Children were pulled away from their families and their families had very little power to speak up for the child. A lot of the similar components are reflected in the residential [mission] schools.”
During the early decades of the past century, sending children to residential schools was common in many fields, including diplomatic corps, military families and missionaries, says Lorna Jacobson, MK Care Coordinator at Serving In Mission Canada (SIM).
“It was a time when health risks were considerable, especially for young families in remote stations. With the development of good homeschooling options, educational support networks, modern medicine, as well as emergency evacuation procedures, the situation is very different today.”
Although Jacobson acknowledges some schools still offer dorms for MKs, she says they generally do not accept children. With improved communications and travel, she says MKs are more connected with their families and are not separated for such long periods of time.
Judith Wiebe, director of member care for the Christian and Missionary Alliance Canada (CMAC) says they currently have fewer than 10 MKs in boarding schools. All of them are high-school age and chose to live in boarding in order to take advantage of special programs offered by the school.
“We try to be proactive in our care for the children of our international workers,” she says. “Parents now have full empowerment to chose the educational model that best suits their children’s needs.”
Both SIM and CMAC have put in place strict child safety and protection policies which include comprehensive training, requirements to report allegations to civil authorities, and guidelines for investigations. However, Bissell says there is still a lot of work needed.
“All of these agencies have put procedures in place, but they need to audit the policies to make sure they are being adhered to. This should be on board agendas every year, ‘how are we going to make sure this never happens again?’ My belief is that we need to tell these stories, recognizing that we want no part of it again in the future.”
Working with the victims, MK Safety Net is immersed in the struggles and pain experienced by survivors. Yet Glenn has hope when she looks at the drive of young people in the Church today.
“Valuing children is so key. If we don’t see children as the future and provide a future for them, then we set them up to fail and to live in despair. What I love about this young generation is they see the injustices and they want to work with grace and mercy to address them. I think that’s very profound.”
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