Solitude requires us to meet our demons

By Keiralee Friesen and ChristianWeek | March 2, 2010

Dense with spiritual wisdom inherited from the desert fathers and mothers, Henri Nouwen's The Way of the Heart delves into the three disciplines of solitude, silence and prayer, which are surprisingly difficult to reconcile with a culture that glorifies image, noise and consumption.

Solitude, according to the desert fathers, is not merely privacy, or a retreat from life to "recharge our batteries," but rather "the place of conversion, the place where the old self dies and the new self is born." We are forced to put aside all the things we think make us important—friends, meetings, telephone calls, books, music—leaving us to face ourselves in all our nothingness. We begin to face our personal demons, and this can be a long battle we cannot fight by ourselves. Solitude is a place primarily for meeting God. Nouwen demonstrates how the fruit of solitude is compassionate ministry.

Silence is referred to as "solitude practiced in action." Silence is about learning to control our tongue, acknowledging how compulsive over-sharing can damage us and leave us feeling soiled. It's about re-learning how to speak and ultimately speaking healing and restoring words out of a full silence.

If solitude were primarily an escape from a busy job and from a noisy milieu, they could easily become very self-centered forms of asceticism; rather, they are for the purpose of prayer. We are called to pray without ceasing, but Nouwen reminds us this may not be the type of prayer we think. Silence isn't simply not speaking, but activly listening to God, which is a form of prayer.

Nouwen writes with clarity and colour, giving examples of real people who have practiced these disciplines, supplementing his explanations with interesting quotes, and dividing each chapter into sections. First he defines the practice, next explaining why it is essential, then how it applies to ministry, and ends the chapter with a joyful exhortation. This at once gives you a sense of how challenging these disciplines are, yet how rewarding, and how desperately needed.

The Way of the Heart, back in print again, is an essential book for ministry. It sheds light on the problem of the secularization of ministry but offers solutions. Whether you are a minister, teacher, songleader, or even a layperson who seeks to minister to others through your daily life, this book is packed with insight and wisdom.