God First-Family Second-Church Third
Offering an alternative to the top-down model for Church life and ministry
The hierarchical structure so many of us have grown accustomed to using as it relates to ordering our Christian lives needs to change. In my experience, ranking things in a top-down order only seems to complicate things and is subject to the opinion of each person in question.
You all know what paradigm I'm referring to, right? It normally looks something like this.
God first.
Family second.
Church third.
There are a few other variations to choose from, but they all utilize similar categories to those used above.
While using such a hierarchical order may seem to help us better structure our focus and time, whether as paid ministers or otherwise, my own experience is that it fails to do either category proper justice.
Allow me to explain.
Placing God first makes perfect sense and I can understand why Christians, as well as those who belong to other faiths, would make this choice. However, the problem doesn't rest in placing this category first. The problem comes into play when we have to begin placing categories beneath it.
For instance...
who decides what category comes in second?
what criteria do we use to arrive at each position?
We can all claim the bible as our source, but there is significant variation as to how we gather this information and what parts of the story we favor over others.
One person may want to emphasize the family-oriented passages in scripture, while another will lean towards the church-related passages and decide who comes in second and third based on their findings.
Is there a better way?
Let me first say that no way is fool-proof. Why? Because we all approach the bible differently and what we choose to emphasize will depend greatly on our presuppositions and biases. Specific church traditions will also factor into the equation, often making matters even more confusing.
However, after reflecting on this model for some time and weighing through my options, I've decided on what I believe to be a better model. The basic categories remain the same, as they will for most, but the actual paradigm itself has undergone significant change.
Changing the Top-Down Structure of Christian Life and Ministry
Rather than utilizing a top-down structure to help me try and determine my priorities, a paradigm that employs a corporate-based system, I've discovered that a more helpful approach is to determine a center instead.
I've found that a centering approach is more beneficial because it helps me to locate what is of greatest significance and place that in the center of my life. And, rather than arbitrarily trying to decide what comes in second and third, I'm learning to allow this center to flow into and impact everything else around it.
Allow me to illustrate.
Jesus is the Center
For me, Jesus is the center. Why Jesus? Placing a generic understanding of God at the center of life can make God out to be an abstract idea that I cannot relate to. Furthermore, there are so many portraits of God available for me to choose from that the challenge of choosing one is made even more difficult.
However, if God looks like Jesus and Jesus is the exact image, imprint and representation of God, so that when you see Jesus you see God, placing Jesus at the center of my existence makes perfect sense. The abstract nature of a generic God-figure is replaced with the person of Jesus, God’s perfect eikon.
God can mean a million different things to a million different people and while there is no doubt much variation as to who we believe Jesus to be as well, he provides a degree of clarity that the concept of a generic God simply cannot do.
In relation to Jesus, we have eye-witness accounts that tell us about his life, teaching and witness, providing concrete information that can help us to better determine how we can live in response. Basing my life on a faceless concept of an abstract deity is far less helpful than the picture of God we see in the person of Jesus.
Jesus reveals God's nature and character in a way no other being ever has or will. As a result, I'm finding that changing from a top-down hierarchical structure to a Jesus-centered pattern to be immensely helpful.
Jesus demonstrates what God is like. Throughout the course of his entire life, Jesus walked the earth as the living embodiment of God. In Jesus, God is no longer an abstract idea, but a living reality that I can watch, listen to, and learn from. And, Jesus’ life provides the missing ingredient I've been looking for to help me better organize my own life as a follower.
Moving From Structure to Pattern
Perhaps a better word to use instead of structure would be pattern. Rather than a structure, which carries with it the vestiges of a corporate category, pattern offers us a better option at organizing life.
Through Jesus we can discover a pattern for life as we read his story in the gospel accounts. In fact, Jesus’ life is one that we all can follow with intentionality. His down-to-earth style can provide the information we need to better organize our own lives.
One of the advantages I'm finding with this pattern is that I'm no longer agonizing over which group deserves more attention, i.e., church, family, etc, giving me more time to reflect on how Jesus can impact each relationship.
Placing Jesus at the center of my life orders all of my other priorities and relationships. Click To TweetPlacing Jesus at the center of my life has a way of ordering and informing all of my other priorities and relationships. Rather than trying to determine who takes priority after him, as is the case in the traditional model, Jesus-at-the-center informs and shapes all of life in a more uniform, and particular, way.
The Jesus-Centered Pattern and Our Spouse
One of the best ways to test a hypothesis is to subject it to real-life scenarios. With this in mind, I decided to see how the pattern works within the relationship with my spouse.
I've discovered that a Jesus-centered life does not in any way take away from my relationship with my wife, but only informs and enhances it.
I love my spouse best when Jesus informs my understanding of what true love looks and sounds like. Click To TweetWorking to better grasp Jesus’ love and witness actually helps me to better love and care for my wife, rather than detract from it. I can only love my wife the way I should when Jesus informs my understanding of what true love looks and sounds like.
As a result, my definition of love does not come by way of contemporary pop-culture, who defines love primarily as emotional sentimentality, but through Jesus who demonstrates in word and action that true love is defined as self-giving and other-person centered. In turn, Jesus gives shape to love and in turn informs the way I am to love my spouse.
A Jesus-centered pattern informs and shapes all of life in ways a top-down structure never could. Click To TweetNot only does this definition of love deeply inform my relationship with my spouse, but it also extends to every other relationship as well. A Jesus-centered life, therefore, informs and shapes all aspects of my existence in ways that a top-down structure never could.
The top-down model has a tendency to create tension between each category of persons. However, a Jesus-centered pattern removes the highly subjective hierarchical structure and moves it into a more naturally flowing stream, touching every life in living and dynamic ways.
Jesus-Centered: A New Pattern for Life
Though I’ve focused on my relationship with my spouse, the Jesus-centered pattern flows into all of life and orders how to live in every relationship.
Here are a few conclusions:
- the top-down, hierarchical structure is replaced with a Jesus-centered pattern that encompasses every relationship we have.
- the abstract nature of a deity at the top is replaced with Jesus-at-the-center, who gives shape to God and provides a more faithful understanding of the Divine.
- Jesus shapes every facet of our relationships and informs our response to each one.
- the stress of trying to prioritize which relationship is more important is replaced with a pattern centered in Jesus’ life - a pattern of other-person, self-giving love for all.
- the Jesus-centered pattern provides more fluidity and less rigidity, making it more adaptable to the natural ebbs and flows of real life.
While the proposal requires more work and reflection, I do believe it does a better job at placing each relationship within a more natural and down-to-earth setting that does away with the top-down nature of the previous structure and the stress it creates.
My hope and prayer is that my proposal becomes a catalyst for a new conversation and serves Christ, the church, and all of our relationships in ways that does better justice to each one, as we together center and re-center our collective focus on Jesus and allow him to shape us into a Jesus-looking people.
Dear Readers:
ChristianWeek relies on your generous support. please take a minute and donate to help give voice to stories that inform, encourage and inspire.
Donations of $20 or more will receive a charitable receipt.Thank you, from Christianweek.
About the author