“I am alive because of her”

A biography of Tom Waits--and the woman who saved his life

By Kurt Armstrong and ChristianWeek | December 9, 2009

I was in high school when my brother came home with Tom Waits' The Black Rider, and to me it sounded like a big mess. I was used to Christian pop, hair metal and hip hop, and the eclectic, primitive and just plain weird sounds of Waits made no sense to me.

I've since become fan, but there's no disputing that Waits is an acquired taste. The strange characters in his songs (i.e. "Tabletop Joe" or "Eyeball Kid"), the unconventional orchestration (including used car parts, motel furniture and homemade instruments), and Waits' multiple voices (barking, growling, crooning and howling) take some getting used to. But he's a genuine musical innovator, a respected and often covered songwriter and an accomplished actor.

Waits is very private, and although this book is a very detailed look at Waits' artistic career, it doesn't feel too much like an invasion of that privacy. It's a close-up look at Waits as an artist, but it avoids hagiography by concentrating more on his career than on the man himself.

As impressive as he is as an artist, part of the reason I like Waits so much (and this book, too) is because of his wife, Kathleen Brennan. Waits married Brennan in 1980 when his career was well underway and his self-destructive, alcoholic ways in full swing.
Reflecting on his marriage decades later, Waits says, "I am alive because of her." Love turned him around; love saved his life. The two of them collaborate so frequently on Waits' songs and theatre work that Kathleen seems to be almost as much a part of Waits' art as he is himself.

Waits and Brennan are heroic to me because they've stuck together for nearly 30 years, which is almost unheard of in the music business. They prove that a healthy marriage and thriving family life is not anathema to great creativity. Waits rarely tours, and he records sporadically, mostly because he's a family man. "Because I utterly adore my wife and kids," he says, "I had no choice but to grow up fast." Nearly everything about Waits and Brennan now defies the stereotype that artists must be substance-abusing, self-destructive and irresponsible to be creative. Waits' art flourishes because of love.

If you've never listened to Tom Waits before, start with Mule Variations, his most accessible album so far. If you're already a fan, this book will be well worth your while.