Can God be Trusted?
I had to let my dog go this week. A silly chihuahua we adopted after thinking it through for about 10 seconds who became my shadow for 10 years. I am not a chihuahua person, and I was quite vocal about it when people would ask what kind of dog I have. But, now that Rosie is gone, I realize I am a chihuahua person. At least, I was THAT chihuahua’s person.
When something so familiar is taken away, it leaves an odd feeling of unreality. Something is wrong. Something is off.
I feel this way about going to worship services on Sundays. Barring illness, travel, or imprisonment (just kidding), I have always gone. In October of last year my husband left the church that we were pastoring, and since that time we have been church-homeless.
Usually when a pastor leaves a church they begin to seek another one. This would make sense for us, as we are from the southern United States and currently live in Canada for the purpose of pastoring that church.
But God has not released us from this place, so we stay. In that staying, we have not found a new church home. We’ve “church shopped” - visited friend’s churches, house churches, briefly thought of starting one of our own (and who knows, maybe in the future?) but currently we are spiritual vagabonds.
Many, many nights I have had this question - “Lord, WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR LIVES???”, to which He has gently replied “Just wait.”.
It’s really hard to wait.
October was almost a whole year ago. We’ve never been without a clear ministry direction for an entire year of our lives!
But God knew. He knew we needed time to begin to heal from wounds inflicted by people we trusted. He knew that people who loved Him would step up and provide for us over and over again. He knew that a global pandemic was coming that would literally shut down the world and we would be joined by ministers around the globe rethinking how to do ministry.
God knew that we would have a hard time thinking outside of the box about ministry, so He is gently, slowly, leading us there. Gently, slowly, healing our wounded hearts. Gently, slowly, lifting us from the pit. Gently, slowly, showing us the next right thing. A few puzzle pieces, but not the cover of the box.
We don’t know what is going on, but He does. And you know what? He can be trusted. If this year of our life has taught me anything, it is that.
He can be trusted.
He is faithful. It is WHO HE IS. He cannot not be faithful.
My favorite scripture for many years has been Lamentations 3:22-23
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
He has made this passage come alive for our family in ways they never have before.
So, as the old hymn says:
“Many things about tomorrow I don’t seem to understand.
But I know Who holds tomorrow, And I know Who holds my hand.”
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