Can you spot an online liar?
Finding a suitable mate is a tough proposition. Even Christians are going to bars looking for a life match these days. Internet dating services are flourishing, especially among people in their 20s.
Between 2007 and 2012 the online dating industry has more than doubled its revenue. It now amounts to more than $1.9 billion annually with an average of 40 million visitors to dating websites every year. A British survey found that 72 per cent of respondents used both dating sites and social networks to search for love, while 19 per cent used social media sites alone.
Some great marriages are started online. Others end in tragedy and disappointment. The biggest challenge to finding a mate online is figuring out if he or she is telling the truth. Often online dating profiles represent a difficult-to-crack mix of truth, exaggeration, and pure fabrication.
A new study reported in the Journal of Communication finds that we are terrible at figuring out which is which. The study offers three guidelines to detect lies.
Liars are not eager to take ownership of their lies. To distance themselves, they use the pronoun "I" less often than honest people.
Beware of smoke and mirrors. Someone who lies about his or her appearance will distract a reader from the embellishments by talking about achievements instead.
The act of lying is more cognitively difficult than telling the truth, so profiles riddled with deception tends to be shorter. "Liars produce fewer total words, so they don't contradict themselves," the researchers say.
In spite of such good advice problems still occur. Feeling desperate is not a good precursor for finding love. Lowered expectations do not fill the lonely hours with hope. "Seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness" (Matthew 6:33) must be part of the equation from start to finish.
Churches have an opportunity and a responsibility to create environments where young people can meet each other and foster relationships. But in 2005, just 16 per cent of those between the ages of 15 to 44 attended church on a regular basis. An additional third of this age range said they never attended religious services at all. Most churches are filled with an older population.
The good news remains. God is still sovereign and He can and does want to be involved in the decisions we make. We can trust Him to guide. He is a good God. It is possible to find a mate over the Internet if you navigate the waters with truth speaking and godly vulnerability. Many people do more investigation into car purchases than they do in building relationships. Be on your guard and commit your way to the Lord. Let Him direct your path.
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