Give respect to get it
It didn't happen a lot, but it's the cutting remarks that people made to me in elementary and junior high school that I remember the most when I look back on that time in my life.
I was always big for my age, which made me a target for fat jokes. I had a family who always loved me unconditionally, a great group of friends and the respect of most of my peers, but occasionally someone would use my size against me and say something that humiliated me.
Those remarks told me that a handful of people defined me as fat, which is a definition of myself I began to accept. It's a hurtful definition I'm only now able to let go.
As hard as my experience was, I know it doesn't even come close to the severity of bullying other students faced, or the bullying that students face today.
Too frequently there are items in the news about students taking their own lives because they don't know how to deal with the relentless bullying they have been subjected to at school.
Clearly this is a problem that needs our attention.
Bill 18—provincial legislation designed to protect students from Kindergarten to Grade 12 from bullying—has stirred controversy in recent months for its clause requiring the provision of gay-straight alliance groups should students wish to form them.
As I've followed the coverage in the news, it's been important to me to remember at least two things.
The first thing is that Bill 18 is legislation that ultimately is meant "to promote the acceptance of and respect for others in a safe, caring and inclusive school environment." I believe that this is something Jesus would support.
Tax collectors, lepers, prostitutes, the poor—Jesus was loving and compassionate to people who were on the margins of society, and He did not differentiate between them and people who were better off.
His teachings instruct us to do the same, as we read in the gospels when someone asks Jesus what the greatest commandment is. "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,'" Jesus replies. "This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself'" (Matthew 22:36-40).
And from Luke 6:31: "Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Promoting the acceptance of and respect for others in a safe, caring and inclusive school environment is a way to treat others as we would have them treat us.
The second thing I'm keeping in mind as this story continues to unfold is that there are sincere and loving Christians who take the Bible seriously on both sides of the debate surrounding Bill 18. A Christian leader who is older (and much wiser) than me pointed this out.
When debates arise, it's tempting to think that our view is the right view—that Scripture supports it and that anyone who thinks differently is either (a) not reading their Bible properly, or (b) not a "real" Christian.
Respectful critique, thoughtful discussion and passionate protest all have their place inside and outside of the church. But when we resort to irresponsible rhetoric and begin to question the faithfulness of Christians who don't see things the same way that we do, we are in danger of failing to live a life worthy of the calling we have received: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love" (Ephesians 4:2).
Whether it's students in school, the poor person we pass on the street asking us for change, or the Christian with the view that opposes our own, let's not forget to treat others the way we want to be treated.
Because it's often the cutting remarks that people remember the most.
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