Godly mentors sought for fatherless boys
NANAIMO, BC—Anxious to find a church-based ministry that can mentor her young, fatherless son, and unable to find anything in Canada, Nanaimo mom Katherine Cress believes she has found what he needs—in Lander, Wyoming. Now she is urging local pastors to at least consider bringing it here.
“For my grandparents, parents and now me, there’s been abandonment,” she says. “I have seen first-hand the dramatic effect it’s had. My little guy just turned eight, and you can already see some things coming out that aren’t healthy, that a mother can’t fulfill.”
The ministry she found is called Fathers In the Field. It partners with churches in calling out mature men to be like fathers to fatherless boys in a three-year mentoring program.
Its primary goal, says founder John Smithbaker—whose own dad walked out before he was born—is to heal the “father-abandonment wound” that is deep inside every fatherless boy. By developing over time a solid trust relationship, the man eventually encourages the boy to forgive his absentee dad.
“They all respond by saying, ‘Why should I?’ Now,” says Smithbaker, “they’re ready to listen and penetrate those calluses on their heart and soul, and the mentor-father has the privilege of sharing the gospel in one sentence: ‘Because you need to be forgiven too.’”
Launched in 2005, FITF has expanded to just over 100 churches in more than 30 states, and is growing steadily. Smithbaker sees “no reason why we couldn’t go into Canada.”
Statistics Canada says in 2011, more than a million children lived with a lone parent, usually the mother.
Studies show that without a dad to guide them, boys especially are more likely to drift into crime and prison, drug and alcohol addictions, poverty, teen pregnancies, suicide—and abandon their own children.
Yet it seems few churches are even aware of the problem. “When I read the Bible, it is very clear that the fatherless and the widows are closest to God’s heart,” says Smithbaker. “But if you look at the Church, we’re not even close.”
“In most of these situations, men have created the problem, and it’s going to take men of God to be part of the solution,” says Promise Keepers Canada president Kirk Giles.
This fall, the national men’s ministry began rolling out a new initiative called The Fatherless Project as part of its conferences across the country. Like Fathers In the Field, it too seeks to enlist men willing and able to mentor fatherless kids and youth.
“There are some really remarkable agencies that are doing their best to support children in these father-absent situations,” says Giles. “They’re crying out for men to help mentor these kids. We’re just going to be that bridge to connect them and get them involved.”
Cress, meanwhile, has taken her appeal for help to four local pastors. “I told them, ‘The ball is in your court. I’ll do the legwork to get a conference call for you to talk to John,’” she says.
“I even offered, ‘I will cook you a great meal just so you guys will get together.’”
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