Pastor helps grieving navigate end of life goodbyes
Most people entering retirement hope funerals are a distant reality. But for Ron Adrian, end-of-life preparation is a calling.
A full-time pastor for 39 years, Adrian, 68, noticed early on in his career that he seemed to have a special gift when it came to serving at funerals. Years later, as he and his wife Dora began to contemplate retirement, he decided to try working at a funeral home to ease into retirement.
It was a great fit. "It seemed like a natural transition, where I could use my compassion and at the same time not be under the pressure I experienced as senior pastor," says Adrian who now serves as an assistant at a funeral home in Winkler.
Occasionally, people wonder how a pastor could "walk away from God's calling to the ministry," says Adrian. He is convinced that his current opportunities are just as much a calling from God. That may mean leaving at 5 a.m. and driving several hours to pick up someone who has died. Being on call (he has a half-time position and goes to work when called) is one way he can serve people in need.
Serving at family viewing services allows him to connect with the family and friends of the person who died. "I'm just there," he says. "I'm available and have opportunity to encourage people and pray with them." Last minute details are often noted at the family viewing service, so Adrian may print the bulletins the evening before the funeral.
"It's not boring," he says of his busy life.
The Adrians see retirement as one of several life stages. For many people, daily life is so full of demands from workplace and family that there is little time to plan for retirement. Others do not have the financial means that will allow them to quit working entirely. Adrian believes it is important to give careful thought and planning to one's later years. He advises preparation for retirement, but confesses, "I think it is okay [for me] not to be financially set. I need to do something that has meaning and purpose and this job provides that for me."
Adrian's wife works part-time as a health care aide. "Dora…has many opportunities to use her gifts. It is very rewarding. She and I both feel very blessed to have part time employment in this stage of our life where we can serve using our gifts, and continue to prepare financially for the next stage of our retirement."
It has been nearly three years since Adrian left full-time pastoring. He and Dora enjoy camping and family and hope to do some volunteer work. He's renovated the couple's house, enjoys working in his shop and still speaks occasionally.
"Because I am on call, I am careful of how many speaking engagements I accept," he says. "I need to be faithful to my present employer. I believe this is where God wants me now. I find fulfillment in what I am doing.
"I haven't stepped out of God's will. I have peace and joy. Both Dora and I are finding satisfaction in what we are doing. We're okay!"
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