Spirituality without forgiveness
Engaging the 'spiritual, but not religious' with an invitation to a good religion centred in forgiveness
"I’m spiritual, but not religious” (SBNR) is the popular slogan of today’s fastest growing religious spiritual movement: the ‘nones’ and ‘does.’ They hold it high as a banner of freedom from the bondage and oppression of religion.
To be fair, the word ‘religion’ has two common usages, so definitions and nuances are in order.
Two senses of religion
Religion can refer to ‘faith practices’ that include the spiritual disciplines and worship rites of various faiths. Across faith traditions, including Judeo-Christianity, these practices include many authentic forms.
For example, I would include sacred music (e.g. psalms, hymns, choruses) and sacred art (e.g. icons, stained glass, sculpture), prayers and chants, fasting and feasting, preaching and teaching, alms-giving and table fellowship. This is ‘religion’ in that positive sense.
St James’ epistle identifies a ‘true and undefiled religion’ that the Father accepts with caring for widows and orphans (James 1:27), i.e., doing justice and loving mercy. Ought Christians to be religious in this sense? I would hope so.
On the other hand, the R-word developed negative connotations through key figures the twentieth century. Dietrich Bonhoeffer felt modern Christianity needed to be stripped of religion, defined as otherworldliness, and a preoccupation with personal salvation.
For Karl Barth, religion was any manmade system or act designed to save oneself. That is, religion answers ‘What must I do?’ He contrasted such religion with the revelation of salvation through Christ alone.
Some Orthodox theologians—lovers of robes, candles, bells and smells—teach that ‘religion is a spiritual neurosis and living faith is the cure (Archbishop Lazar Puhalo). For them, Christ was the end of religion (Fr. Alexander Schmemann).
What is bad religion?
Bad religion is really religiosity or self-righteousness. It’s not merely external faith practices, but their misuse to mask what’s rotten in our hearts or to feed our ego. It’s what Christ meant by hypocrisy. “You hypocrites!” he said, “You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean” (Matt. 23:27).
At its heart, such religion is faith-less, grace-less, and Christ-less. Ought Christians to be religious in this sense? I would hope not.
With that backdrop, churchgoers like me need to listen carefully to the SPNRs—and respond with compassion and love.
What is good religion?
Compassion means empathizing with religious refugees and victims of spiritual abuse. Some ‘nones’ and ‘dones’ left their churches dissatisfied with consumer Christianity’s failure to deliver. Others became disgruntled at some offence.
I am also frequently privy to real horror stories (from pastors and laypeople alike): ways that bad religion has profoundly wounded souls—ways in which I was personally complicit. I’ve seen why so many flee and enter a painful detox and deconstruction phase.
Yet compassion involves more than a ‘there, there’ sympathy pat. Real love invites those damaged by bad religion into reconstruction, restoration, and reconciliation. SBNRs may never return to the local church, but we hope they will pursue Christ-centered faith and healthier faith practices.
An invitation to forgiveness
When invited, I encourage my SBNR friends to the one reliable test of their spirituality: forgiveness. This is Jesus’ hardest teaching.
When is spirituality without religion honestly just spirituality without forgiveness. The quality of one’s spirituality is measured in how it equips us to process the hurts we experienced in faith community. Isn’t this true: when I shut my heart to forgiveness, I have shut my heart to love. And to Christ.
If condemnation, accusation and judgments animate noxious religion, then spirituality without forgiveness is still religious to the roots.
I am not saying that we should herd all the ‘nones’ and ‘dones’ back into the brick-and-mortar churches that proved unsafe for them. But if Christianity is about anything (for churches and SBNRs), it is love—including enemy love. Which means the faith practice of forgiveness.
Any spirituality without it is just another house-league religion. Why? Because the poison of resentment and bitterness have followed me out the door—even into my private religion.
A modest suggestion
This weekend, whether the Holy Spirit leads us to attend a cathedral, a house church, a pub, or a golf course, I would invite Christ-followers to the ancient, daily faith practice of the Lord’s prayer, asking from our hearts, “Father…forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."
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